Last Sunday was confirmation Sunday in my church. Five young women and men stood before the congregation to answer ancient questions about the Christian faith, to affirm their faith and to join our church. I must confess that I have not always been confirmation’s biggest champion. Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoy the interaction I have as a pastor with those young men and women, usually about ninth grade, being confirmed. My problem has been with all the weight the church culture in the upper Midwest gives to this time. There seems to be this sense that you will learn in one to three years everything important you will ever need to learn about the Christian faith, the Bible, the history of the church and on and on. Completing confirmation becomes analogous to finishing high school. And what happens when you are done with high school? You never have to go back! There are all those jokes about ministers who have some kind of pest problem in the church (mice, squirrels, bats) and the solution of one of the clergy is that he confirmed them all and never saw them again.
So as a pastor teaching confirmation, I have tried to take some of the ominous weight off this time. I try and take a more relaxed approach, telling those in confirmation and their parents that while this is an important time and a significant one, it is but one part of the life-long journey of faith. I hope confirmation sparks as many questions as it provides statements of answers. Yes, there are things to be learned, but the life of faith involves not just the deeper reaches of our minds, but also of our hearts. We join a community of people trying to follow Jesus, and building community is vital to that enterprise. So relationships are important. Is my program a great one? Probably not, and you would have to ask those who participate if it has been genuinely helpful to them or not. I am too new to this church setting to know if those who have finished confirmation will stick around in the coming years. Time will tell. One of those confirmed this year was our youngest daughter, and she has given every sign that she will stay active in church after confirmation!
So confirmation has been an internal struggle. Am I getting it right, balancing some learning with fostering that sense of a community on a journey? Is it possible to get it right, or is confirmation a relic of the past that should quietly slip into church history, like father’s “giving away” their daughters in marriage?
But then there was Confirmation Sunday itself. One of the special things about the five confirmation students this year is that their families are all active in the life of the church. That’s another thing about upper Midwest confirmation culture, for some there is the idea that if you don’t do anything else for your child in terms of religious education it is your duty as a parent to make sure they get confirmed. Anyway, Confirmation Sunday came. Parents wanted the service to be special and individual, and helped a lot along the way. A parent had worked with our lay leader to make stoles to present to the young men and women. We projected some pictures of the youth at the beginning and end of the service. There was some special music. We had stones from Lake Superior to give as a remembrance of baptism. During the sermon, I decided to try and say just a few words about each of those being confirmed. That was pretty easy; it was a very good group. They have special gifts to give the church. As I began to talk about each of these young people who have spent part of the last year with me, the words came not just from my mouth and my head, but from some place deeper within my heart. And then I got to my own daughter, and I had planned what I was going to say. “Sarah – you are my daughter, and it has been a joy to say that since the moment I first saw you, just moments after you came into this world. You are also God’s daughter and this is one among many moments where I get to stand in awe as you grow into a special young woman.” And I started to say it, and my voice caught for a few moments. What was already a fairly emotion-filled sanctuary, became even more so. We all realized that these were God’s sons and daughters and we were all standing in awe as they are growing into special young men and women.
Whatever reservations I have about confirmation, I must admit Sunday was wonderful. It was magic. Sometimes God doesn’t care much about my mental reservations!
I did get into a little trouble though. Our older daughter, Beth was present and she doesn’t remember me getting very emotional at her confirmation! Beth, I was a pool of emotion this winter when you were awarded the Wisconsin Intercollegiate Athletic Conference Student Athlete of the Year for Swimming and Diving (pun intended).
With Faith and With Feathers,
David
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"We all realized that these were God’s sons and daughters and we were all standing in awe as they are growing into special young men and women" - yes this is exactly how we felt. What a beautiful service- one we won't ever forget. Thank you!
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